A video games analyst with a strong Geordie accent.

He once spent £300 to put down his Staffy because there was something wrong with it's arse which meant that it hadn't taken a shit for over a year. At the time of it's death it was the size of a Jensen Interceptor.

Every Tuesday he gets rat-arsed and watches Kathleen Turner while and Keighley rubs his gout.

Pachter is known to have a very delicate digestive system, a boiled egg madras has been known to cause intense bouts of diarrhea and flatulence while excess cheese consumption induces severe constipation.